Fresh

"Turn to me and have mercy on me, as you always do to those who love your name."
-Psalm 119:132

I felt the overwhelming urge to create a new place to write. My life has been lovingly turned upside down this last year. I went from the most secretive, isolated, depressing time of my life to the flourishing, delightful chaos of wedding planning and restoration. I have wrestled through some deeply rooted issues and am still challenged with the consequences of my flesh and sin. I can only feel grateful to work through these things. God continually impresses me with His ability to make a masterpiece out of my shambles. Nothing I have was obtained in my own strength. That is another beauty of this last year... I feel like I am slowly (but surely!) letting things go. My fingers are no longer clutching the past, people, and notions I thought I should claim. Why do we ever want things that God doesn't mean for us to have? I will never know; but I am so thankful to experience the gift of my life now. Learning that people are not possessions is a constant battle. Taking our eyes off ourselves is an endless struggle. But God is so gracious and kind.

I am in constant wonder of how I got here. I have a job. I sleep in a bed. I make enough money to drink foamy soy mistos. Hallelujah! My fiance is exquisite and lovely. I am betrothed to a man who loves Jesus more than me but loves me so much. Luke is evidence in my life that God gives us more than we could want or hope. God gives us what He knows we need, what He knows we can endure (and enjoy!), and what will nudge us that much closer to seeing His heart more clearly. This season may feel like a whirlwind, but I hope I can continue to stop and feel the overwhelming sense of grace in my life.